Cranks My Tractor

What a Man Wants

We are checking out at the grocery store - all of the impulse items are there within close range, where you have to study them while you wait. Candy, chewing gum, beef jerky, lip balm, batteries and the magazines with pretty women and pretty food. You’ve seen the headlines. “30 Meals You Can Make While You Sleep,” “Dog Rescues Goldfish from Toilet,” and “How to Make Your Mate Obey Your Every Command.”

It seems that these magazines are generally there to give the latest Hollywood, Country Music and Political gossip. However, they are often there to give people (most of the time women) advice on cooking, looking nice and driving men crazy.

I enjoy cooking magazines, looking nice kind of falls to the floor along with my hair and honestly women don’t need a magazine to drive men crazy. They can smile, wave or just say “Hi” and that does it for a lot of fellows. They just want your five dollars for the magazine.

A Picture Is Worth 94 Years

Many of you know the story of “Phyllis” and how she called me by mistake over four years ago – and kept calling. She declared herself my godmother when my Mama passed away in 2012. This made me very happy.

We talked almost every day; we talked about the weather, basketball, politics, world problems, religion and family. I found that Phyllis had famous relatives and godchildren (other than me).

These included members of the Indianapolis Colts, Pittsburgh Steelers and Dallas Cowboys. She also has a nephew that is a mayor of a large city. None of this mattered, Phyllis was “my godmother.”

I’ve written about her and told stories in classrooms and on stage about our “long-term relationship.” Why? Simply because I want folks to know how wonderful she is and that sometimes there are surprises along life’s journey that are pretty incredible.

Thankful for the days, months and years...

Recently, I had the opportunity to read one of my favorite stories to a writers group I participate in here in Virginia. It was something I really enjoyed, but I honestly enjoyed even more listening to the other writers read their work. If I wasn’t the youngest in the room, I was close to it.

What is our most valuable resource?

In my opinion, it is the wisdom of those who are further down life’s path than we are. There is nothing I love more than hearing folks older than I, tell their stories and opinions.

A number of the stories were serious and even more were humorous. It was the year end contest with the group voting for the stories they thought were the best and one being chosen for the coveted humor award that bears the name of a past member, who evidently knew how to spin a yarn.

Live Performance in Washington DC for SpeakeasyDC's July Show

Thank you for your continued support of my writing. I have had the opportunity to tell some of my stories on stage this summer in Virginia and Washington, DC. Here is one I did for a SpeakeasyDC about my godmother Phyllis who dialed me by mistake almost four years ago. If you are interested in me telling stories or speaking for your event, conference, school or resort guests, just drop me an email at the address that can be found in the "About Me" area.

Say Yes to the ...

Recently a friend of mine was talking about how proud she was of her son for working and earning the money to buy his first car. This is a big deal for a 16 or 17 year-old and I would have to agree that it is very commendable.

Having cut grass, cleaned toilets and sweated many a summer day to pay for the gas in my150 dollar 1968 Mercury Cougar with flies sticking to the hood because it was painted outside – I understand.

If a teenager does this, they are going a long way to understanding how things work.

However, it was the background of the picture of the young man and his earned car that caught my eye.

Call Waiting

What did we do before we had the feature on our telephones that allows us to switch over to pick up another call? We got a busy signal. Those were the good old days I suppose.

“Call Waiting” is one of those features that you are doomed if you do and doomed if you don’t use it. The person you are talking to will more than likely be annoyed when you say, “Hang on a minute, I have to answer this call.” The person calling in might think you are just not answering the phone because they get a ringing sound, rather than a busy signal.

Maybe things were easier with a party line when you could all talk together. Older folks still remember party lines where phone customers were sharing phone service lines. In other words folks had the same line. The way you knew the call was for you was by the pattern of the ring.

Phyllisology

As many of you know, I have a “godmother” named Phyllis who lives in Gary, Indiana. I have never seen her, but I talk to her on the phone three or four times a week.

That’s the way it started; she called me by mistake a couple of years ago. At the time, I was visiting relatives in the South driving around my hometown in Alabama. We talked about her dialing the wrong number and I pulled off the road into a parking lot and continued the conversation for about 30 minutes that first time.

Since then, we have continued to talk. If I go for a few days without calling her, she will call and pretend to be mad. I enjoy talking to her; I even enjoy it when she pretends to be mad at me. When my mother passed away, Phyllis decided to be my godmother. Phyllis turned 92 at the beginning of February.

This is not Rocket Science

It was going to be a nice long weekend. Perhaps, I thought I could get a few things done around the house and then just “do nothing.” Never underestimate the value of simply doing nothing.

Some folks think they are too busy or important to simply do nothing. Honestly, I think those are the same folks that actually probably do nothing all the time. You’ve seen these folks; they spin their wheels all day, talk a lot about all they have to do and get nothing done.

There are lists on the internet that give folks ideas on “How to do nothing.” Just to give you an idea, the list I found included advice on choosing the right loafing role models, sketching flowers, staring at the clouds and taking a nap. Are you kidding? These folks have lists for everything and after spinning their wheels all day, they feel so proud of it - that they need to learn how to do nothing.

So you are still picking cotton

Father’s Day comes and goes; this was my twelfth without my Daddy. As strange as it sounds, I seem to get closer to him as the years go by. Maybe, it’s that I find him more each day. I find him exactly where I knew I would.

I find him in me.

My Father’s Day cards were wonderful. My children are as precious to me, as I am sure yours are to you. Someday, when I have time, I’m going to come up with a line of Father’s Day cards that all end with, “Happy Father’s Day Daddy.” Maybe, that’s my way to fortune and fame.

You can call me Al

Phyllis finally asked me to do her a favor. I have talked with her so many times; she never asks anything of me. So when Phyllis called me and asked if I would do something for her, I jumped right on it.

Phyllis, my friend, my angel and now, my godmother dialed my number by mistake in December of 2010 and we have been talking regularly ever since.

Some people get annoyed by getting those wrong number calls; mine from Phyllis has definitely changed my life for the better.

We are quite a pair. Phyllis, who is a 91 year-old part African American, part Chicahominy Indian living in Gary, Indiana, has a Caucasian godson who grew up in Alabama and now lives in Virginia.