Cranks My Tractor

Harper Valley Chaos

I’m a mathematician who enjoys writing, but I rarely combine the two outside of the workplace. Some folks want to talk about work at breakfast, lunch, dinner and on the weekend. I do not. The separation is necessary for me to remain functional in both places (at work and away from work).

However, sometimes I will bring math into my thought process for fun and entertainment.

Have you ever heard of a book being written on a subject that no one can really agree on a definition? In mathematics, “chaos” is not chaos as you often think of it. As a matter of fact, in mathematics it is easier to define something being chaotic than to define chaos itself.

Delay of Game

If you are on a computer regularly, you know about all of the social media sites. People are telling their friends and family what is going on in their lives. Sometimes they are unknowingly telling people that aren’t friends and family.

You just have to be careful.

I do think there is a lot of good with these social media sites. I enjoy being able to see my old college friends’ children and keeping up with family members who live far away.

With Facebook, you can see when your “friends” make comments to others and when they say nice things about new pictures and thoughts.

Right Handed Pictures

It was a Saturday and I needed a place to go. The hardware store is always my first choice. The conversation is usually pretty good and the ladies at the register call me “Baby.” I chose the route through Colonial Williamsburg because it was December and it is always pretty during the holidays.

You can’t ride on the main street through the historic part of town, but you can ride “across” Duke of Gloucester Street in a few places. It’s fun and you can do a little people watching from the car.

Folks here call Duke of Gloucester Street, “Dog Street.” I’m not a native, I’m a “come here,” but I can get away with calling it Dog Street. As I got closer to Dog Street, I realized what I had done.

I didn’t pay any attention to the morning paper. If I had, I would have realized the Christmas Parade was on this morning. With thousands of people in town for the Christmas Parade, I wasn’t going to be able to people watch from the car.

An angel in my pocket

It was a stuffy sort of office, an office with a waiting room or sitting area where you basically sit and be bored and look at the walls. The magazines didn't even have puzzles in them.  There was no one there except for the secretary and me. She came out and sat down and starting talking to me. It was much better than sitting alone.

The secretary started telling me about moving in from another state, about her family and about things that she had on her mind. The conversation moved on to her health and she admitted to having a serious illness. I could tell that it scared her and I also could tell that she wanted to talk about it. We talked a while longer and she explained the stage of the illness and what it meant.

After she told me the whole story, I asked her a question. I asked the secretary, “Do you believe in angels?” She said, “Most definitely.”

The Three Wise Men

Mama lives in a retirement community in Alabama and I visit her as much as I can. The other residents are a lot of fun to watch and listen to. They all have stories to tell and they want to tell them. In my opinion, their stories are a lot better than books or television.

This particular visit was on the last day of “National Assisted Living Week.” It was a Friday, and they were having a luau with piña coladas. I’m not a big fan of coconut, but I tried them and they were good.

We were sitting out back in a large gazebo type structure sipping our piña coladas, talking and having a good time. Out of the approximately twenty residents there, only three were men. Being a math guy interested in statistics, I know that women tend to outlive men by about five years. Sitting under the gazebo with these folks, it was kind of obvious.

Jack and the Buddy Poppy

The neighborhood hardware store in Williamsburg, Virginia, is a safe haven for me. The employees consist of many retired men who want to get out of the house a few hours a week and women who call me “Baby.” I like it. I like to go and talk to the employees and other customers.

We discuss what’s going on around town and how to fight voles, fire ants and other vermin. On Saturdays, they run the popcorn machine and you can help yourself to as much as you want. Sometimes, I will wear my red golf shirt knowing that I will be mistaken as an employee.I like to help folks and I like to talk, if it’s a question I can’t answer, I will get a real employee.

On Memorial Day, I needed to pick up a few things. I can’t remember what I needed now and I couldn’t remember then, but it was an excuse to go to the hardware store.

Thank you

Over the next few weeks, my stories will begin to appear in newspapers in Calhoun, Franklin and Gulf Counties in Florida, with papers in Alabama to follow. The newspapers in these places are going to give me the chance to entertain their readers on a weekly basis. I truly appreciate this opportunity.

You have to start somewhere and also have friends that believe in you.

I will continue to post stories on my Cranks My Tractor website just as I have always done. I have taken these last few days to try to straighten some things out and get ready for this new opportunity.

My online column with the Washington Times Communities section will also continue with hopes of being in print in the DC area soon.

A little horse

Ok, it's a play on words. I meant a “little hoarse.” College football season has started and I get a little excited and yell every once in a while. My Alma Mater beat a team they weren’t supposed to beat and I was watching it and I was yelling.

I had to yell. Things like this only happen once in a blue moon.

If you are into football, I hope your team won. If your team didn’t win, don’t give up. It is just a game.

If you’re not into football, I hope you got to do something that “cranks your tractor” on this holiday weekend.

This is a just a note to say “thanks” to all of you who have been reading my stories. I appreciate it more than you will ever know. It brings me joy knowing that people get a kick out of what I have to say. Getting “paid by the smile” has its advantages.

Now what’s on tap?

The true “little horse” story will be released on Monday, September 6. The name of the story is “Confetti Everywhere,” and is about a little horse I met in the hospital while visiting my mother. That’s right – “in the hospital.”

More Power to You!

 

 These social networking sites seem to be getting bigger these days; in particular Facebook.  You know how it works; you get together with friends from high school, college, and work.  You share pictures and thoughts and tell each other “Happy Birthday” and “Happy Anniversary.”