Cranks My Tractor

When you just don't know what to say

When you get a message that says, “Can you call me,” you stop and ask yourself, “I wonder what’s up?” Then again, you get those and you think the worst. Someone is very sick or someone has passed away. I got one of those this week and I just didn’t know what to say.

After I got the bad news, I simply sat and thought, and then I cried. Not about getting sick or how my buddy died, but I thought about that little boy back in the late 60’s. He looked a little funny because his head was kind of bigger than the other boys. He was also much larger than the other boys in the first grade.

Book'em Danno

The original “Hawaii Five-O” lasted 12 seasons, with actor Jack Lord, playing the role of Detective Steve McGarrett. Jack Lord, who was born John Joseph Patrick Ryan, also was offered a chance to play Captain Kirk in the first “Star Trek” series. Jack was too expensive for the show, requesting to own half the show if he got the role. They didn’t give it to him. As we all know, William Shatner, got the role and the cult following that continues today.

However, Jack Lord was pretty big deal playing the main bad-guy catcher in the series with the catchy theme song. If you grew up with the series, you remember his saying, “Book’em Danno,” to his sidekick Danny Williams, played by James MacArthur. Danno was an expert in defusing bombs and figuring out handwriting. I could use him to read my own writing sometimes.

A Strange White Substance

Recently, a friend of mine told me his daughter was stopped by airport security in Charleston, South Carolina, because they thought she was a “mule.” Knowing this fellow well and his daughter since she was tiny, I first needed clarification of what a mule was and why someone would think this nice college freshman was a mule.

I know that a mule is what you get when you cross a female horse and a male donkey and they are hardworking and Clint Eastwood paired up with Shirley MacLaine in the movie “Two Mules for Sister Sarah.” The pairing of Eastwood and MacLaine bothered me in later years and didn’t really help me with my mule problem.

Stubbornness is associated with mules, but I don’t think they simply stop you in security lines for being stubborn unless you are not cooperating with them by letting them see all your underwear and baggage and what you are taking on the plane. I asked him, “Was she not cooperating with them?” He noted that she was very cooperative, but that they were very concerned with the strange white substance that she was taking on the plane with her.

Like Eagles Y'all

I’m about four weeks into an empty house… One college graduate out in the workforce and two college students more than a ten-hour drive from home. How am I doing? How are they doing?

I have a little more time on my hands, I’ve gotten into new hobbies and new adventures, but of course, I always miss my children.

While working the left door at church, I’ve had quite a few discussions about being an “empty nester.” When working the left door, I like to think that “my side” of the sanctuary is more occupied than the others. It is a bit vain and I shouldn’t think that… but statistically speaking it is a fact.

The Game Knows

This morning I drove to work and it took me about 40 minutes, which is not unusual given the morning traffic, road construction and tourists that are in my area this time of year. Right after I exited the interstate heading into work, I realized I had left my computer at home. It was very unfortunate, because it’s not something I can simply do without. So, I turned around and headed back home through worse traffic.

We often head off on the right track and through mistakes or our own forgetfulness, we just jump the tracks. I made the best of it, listening to the radio and calling a couple of folks I needed to check on.

One of those folks was a good friend back home, whose son was drafted in the latest Major League Baseball selections. I’ve written about this young man before, about how my first memory of him was when he about five years-old. I asked him how he was doing, rubbed his curly blonde head and he promptly walloped me. He punched me with a man-sized punch. Needless to say, years later, he still hits the baseball the same way.

Sticky Rice, Mango and Tears

On Friday nights, I like to go to the Thai restaurant about five minutes from my house. I always sit at the bar and wait on my take-out order and talk to all of the servers, the other regulars and Moony, whose name I never spell or say correctly. I’ve known her for years – she and her husband own the place. They are good people, who work hard and make good food.

Moony has two children, a daughter in high school and a son about to go away to college and chase his dreams – just like mine. Her son loves computers, gaming and will play soccer in college. My son loves computers, gaming and music – he will chase his dreams and a college education in Nashville, Tennessee.

I’m never in a hurry when I go to get take-out, if I were, I’d call ahead. I never call ahead, because I like sitting at the bar and playing with the remote control surfing the channels. I seldom get to do that at home.

Dear Son

With my son nearing the end of his senior year in high school, I wanted to write him a letter and put it in his brown paper bag lunch this morning, but I didn’t. He will read this though, and hopefully understand what I am trying to say.

“Dear Son,

I’m sure you noticed something a little different about your peanut butter and jelly sandwich at lunch today. At least I hope you did. I understand that you are used to having it the ‘usual’ way, but last night I needed to make it a different way.

I needed to ‘hear it.’

Forget Waldo, Where am I?

Most folks have heard of the “Where’s Waldo?” books where readers try to find Waldo in a picture; it’s kind of like of puzzle and my children enjoyed the books/concept. In the original book, “Waldo” travels to ordinary destinations like the beach, the ski slopes and the zoo. I’ve always enjoyed the zoo.

There are pictures of crowds of people and the object is to simply find Waldo in the crowd. It’s actually quite fun and can keep children occupied for long periods of time. Each of these destinations has a postcard to the reader from Waldo, who tells you what is going on and a little about his destination.

Waldo sets out on his journey with 12 items that are supposed to help him on his journey through the book and to various places. He carries a walking stick, kettle, mallet, cup, backpack, sleeping bag, binoculars, camera, snorkel, belt, bag and shovel. Waldo manages to lose these things everywhere he goes and he is continually asking you/the reader to help the things he leaves behind.

The Next One is Me

My morning commute can take me anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours based on the traffic, accidents, road construction and rubberneckers. You get used to such things and find ways to pass the time. Just recently, I was listening to an old radio episode of Gunsmoke from the 1950’s and recognized the voice of the doctor. I just couldn’t place it.

As traffic crept along, I finally realized that the voice I recognized was that of Howard McNear. McNear played the role of “Doc Adams” in CBS Radio’s Gunsmoke from 1952 to 1961. I didn’t know him by his real name, I knew him as “Floyd the Barber” on The Andy Griffith Show.

Some folks’ voices have that effect on you – you remember them.

A couple of days later, my son had given me a demo copy of his latest album. He’s not famous yet, but he will go off to college in the fall to Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee to learn about the music business.

The Ride

It was about this time of year, 35 years ago, when I took a long ride with my Daddy. It was a rite of passage or something I suppose. We loaded up in my car and headed to Dallas, Texas, to see the University of Alabama play Baylor in the Cotton Bowl.

He was an Alabama fan, I had been accepted or would be accepted to Auburn University. It was my senior year in high school and we had never gone on such a long ride together, with just us. It was nice. It was something I looked forward to and something I will always remember. I’m sure you have had similar experiences with your father, or at least I hope you have.

He let me drive, and then he would drive. I would give anything to remember the conversations, though I’m sure they were sparse, I would still like to remember them. I remember at the time that it just seemed like something he thought he needed to do. The game didn’t mean that much, but I’m pretty sure it was “the ride” he looked forward to taking. Being able to spend that time with me, even though the conversations weren’t really deep, spending the time was.