Cranks My Tractor

The Hatfield’s, McCoy’s and Us

Everyone, I assume, has heard the story of the family feud between the Hatfield and McCoy families back in the late nineteenth century in Kentucky and West Virginia. Some people even know about how the feud started and how it ended or dwindled out. Each side had a leader or patriarch who fanned the flames, or perhaps lit multiple fires.

William Anderson Hatfield, or “Devil Anse,” as he was called was just what you think he would be – a backwoods fellow who lived and worked hard in the mountains. He was a successful timber merchant, who in fact, employed some of the McCoy family. His nemesis on the other side was Randolph “Old Ranel” McCoy. Old Ranel was not as prosperous as Mr. Hatfield, but he did own some land and some livestock.

Some say, the first event that led to the long drawn out feud was actually a murder of Old Ranel’s brother, Asa. It had to do with Asa’s loyalty to the Union during the War Between the States. Historians bicker about whether or not this actually started the feud, many holding to the “Brother Asa Theory,” while more pointing to the “Pig Theory.”

Smoke and Words and the New Year

As I admired the new gasket I had just installed on my ceramic smoker that sits on my deck, I could almost taste the steaks. I hadn’t replaced the top and bottom gaskets on my smoker since I received this wonderful gift many years ago. The old gaskets had pretty much burnt to nothing and smoke could easily ease out from where the lid meets the bottom of the smoker.

Keeping the smoke and heat in is important to the smoking, cooking and regulating the temperature. Thus, I had been wasting smoke for years and either too lazy to buy a new set of gaskets or waiting on someone to give me some. I got a set for my birthday and it seemed the perfect time to install them during the holidays.

Everyone has traditions for the holidays and we have steak on Christmas night. The process of taking the smoker apart, removing all of the old crusty parts, cleaning and reassembling is pretty time consuming I learned. However, it was very gratifying. Once installed, my smoker didn’t make that “pinging” noise of the ceramic top and bottom hitting each other when I closed the lid.

Book'em Danno

The original “Hawaii Five-O” lasted 12 seasons, with actor Jack Lord, playing the role of Detective Steve McGarrett. Jack Lord, who was born John Joseph Patrick Ryan, also was offered a chance to play Captain Kirk in the first “Star Trek” series. Jack was too expensive for the show, requesting to own half the show if he got the role. They didn’t give it to him. As we all know, William Shatner, got the role and the cult following that continues today.

However, Jack Lord was pretty big deal playing the main bad-guy catcher in the series with the catchy theme song. If you grew up with the series, you remember his saying, “Book’em Danno,” to his sidekick Danny Williams, played by James MacArthur. Danno was an expert in defusing bombs and figuring out handwriting. I could use him to read my own writing sometimes.

T Minus 13 and Counting

At first I worried a little, which is foolish. I worried because I would be putting people out of jobs, or at least contributing to doing it in a way. Then I used the car wreck and speeding analogies, which seemed to make sense. In other words, “Should I have a wreck in order to keep the local body shop in business?” or “Should I go out on the interstate and break the speed limit until I get caught a few times in order to help the police budget?”

Of course the answer to both of those questions is an absolute “No.”

Maybe I was more worried about the inconvenience of learning to do things differently or not having all the bells and whistles I’m used to having. Honestly, that is probably closer to my actual worries than the wrecking and speeding and making sure folks keep their jobs analogy.

A Strange White Substance

Recently, a friend of mine told me his daughter was stopped by airport security in Charleston, South Carolina, because they thought she was a “mule.” Knowing this fellow well and his daughter since she was tiny, I first needed clarification of what a mule was and why someone would think this nice college freshman was a mule.

I know that a mule is what you get when you cross a female horse and a male donkey and they are hardworking and Clint Eastwood paired up with Shirley MacLaine in the movie “Two Mules for Sister Sarah.” The pairing of Eastwood and MacLaine bothered me in later years and didn’t really help me with my mule problem.

Stubbornness is associated with mules, but I don’t think they simply stop you in security lines for being stubborn unless you are not cooperating with them by letting them see all your underwear and baggage and what you are taking on the plane. I asked him, “Was she not cooperating with them?” He noted that she was very cooperative, but that they were very concerned with the strange white substance that she was taking on the plane with her.