About 30 years ago, this tall gorgeous girl and I decided we needed to do something really risky. You know what I mean - live on the edge. Anytime a tall gorgeous girl wants to do something a little wild, there are not many 16 year-old boys that will argue.
We decided to go to the movie.
Yes, I know. I’m just as boring now as I was then.
It’s no longer there, but there is this wonderful catfish restaurant in front of where it used to be. The catfish place has delicious fried dill pickles. Don’t knock them until you’ve tried them.
Well, somewhere in that theatre our “16 year-old live on the edge” mentality took over. She would remember the event better than me, because tall gorgeous girls remember things better.
We decided to sneak into an R-rated movie. It was not a “va voomy R,” it was a “scary green stuff R.” Again, I was pretty boring. We decided to sneak into “Alien.” I’m not one for scary movies now and I wasn’t then. I was under the influence of a tall gorgeous girl.
I have worked with the aerospace industry my whole career, but I have never been a fan of science fiction or anything scary. If I recall, it was both with the alien bursting out of a fellow’s stomach and a lot of blood and yucky green stuff.
Well, I never really knew the purpose of this night in 1979 until a few months ago. This tall gorgeous girl went on to college at Vanderbilt, as did my future wife. She has beautiful children and lives in California with the movie stars and wears pretty do-rags in her hair. I guess they are really bandanas, but they are pretty just the same.
My wife went on to have beautiful children and marry a handsome prince that doesn’t like science fiction and horror movies.
Anyway, this is where the subject of “clam diggers” comes in. I had been studying them for quite some time. They are sometimes called “pedal pushers” and are very similar to capri pants, but they are not capri pants.
The kicker to clam diggers is that they are “longer than shorts but are not as long as trousers”.
Please stay with me.
These “clam diggers” were a major discussion topic with my friends for a number of months. I am not a big movie buff, but there are some movies that come on television that always catch my eye and I can watch certain parts of them over and over again.
One of those movies is “Dirty Dancing”. If you’ve seen it you will know the scene I am referring to. Do you remember when Baby was dancing on the log with Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze)? They were playing Bruce Chanel’s “Hey! Baby.”
She does that little “shaky move” with a little “twisty thing” thrown in. There is just something about Baby dancing on that log and doing that move, that…. well …. Cranks My Tractor.
Anyway, I had concluded that it was either those pants or the white Keds she wears in the movie, or both (that I like so much in addition to the "shaky twisty move"). This clam digger question had been really bearing on my mind.
After seeing this scene for about the 100th time, I determined that the white pants she was wearing actually make it to her ankles (almost). That would mean that she is either not wearing clam diggers or she is wearing clam diggers made for a taller girl.
Either way, she’s still Baby and she still looks nice on that log. I guess only Baby knows the answer to that question. Now let’s go back to Alien, tall gorgeous girls, and 1979.
I simply asked her “Do you have any idea what you would call them if they were longer than clam diggers?” Her answer was “Sometimes clam diggers are called capri pants or pedal pushers.” Then the tall gorgeous girl asked me “Do you want me to ask her? She’s a friend of mine.”
Of course I didn’t tell her that clam diggers were a little different than capri pants; I had swallowed my tongue or something. The tall gorgeous girl knew Baby. (Not like she was a “fan”, she knew her).
The important thing is that I have linked these important events in my life and know now that fate was the reason I suffered through the yucky green stuff of Alien. Admittedly, the tall gorgeous girl had something to do with that also.
She doesn’t owe me anything, but I compiled a list of questions for the tall gorgeous girl to ask Baby. She asked her, Baby answered.
I will be revealing these answers in my Washington Times column since Baby is about to win “Dancing with the Stars.”
She will win.
My list for Baby included the following questions.
1) Are they or are they not “clam diggers”?
2) Are they Keds or something else?
3) Do you still have those white not exactly “clam digger” looking trousers?
4) Do they still fit?
5) Even if they don’t, could you put them on and take a couple of pictures and send them to me? (Preferably walking on a log)
You can see my prediction on who is going to win this year’s “Dancing with the Stars” in my column at the Washington Times Communities this week. The title is “Baby will win Season 11 of Dancing with the Stars.”
Who did you expect me to pick? Carol Brady? Bristol Palin?
In the voice of a tall gorgeous 16 year-old girl, "Puhlease."
Tell 27 people you love them today; something good will happen.
I'm BN Heard and I like semicolons, dogs and people that say "thank you."
Thank you Baby!
Tall Gorgeous Girl - Thank you more!