When summer comes around each year and it starts getting really hot and humid, there’s one thing that I always think about – Wendy Peppercorn or it's actually Wendy Peffercorn (a reader corrected me), the lifeguard from the movie “The Sandlot.” I've always called her Wendy Peppercorn, you know I have problems with names.
Yes, I’m married and have children. You have to understand that Wendy Peffercorn is more like a “state of mind” or a destination or perhaps even a dream vacation. She represents the things that are good and fun and right about the world. If you’ve never seen the movie “The Sandlot”, you have no idea what I’m talking about. The Sandlot came out in 1993 and has had a cultish following from young and old. It’s not just about baseball, it’s more about life.
Wendy Peffercorn is just perfect, wearing a red one piece bathing suit, a red ribbon in her hair, and those white sunglasses. Only Wendy could get away with those white sunglasses. I have to admit that I’m not drawn to her red lipstick, but I understand that it’s probably necessary to match up with the bathing suit and the ribbon.
Young girls (and some older women) seem to think they need to find the bathing suits that show the most skin possible. I’m here to tell you that Wendy Peffercorn’s one piece should serve as the ideal example for them all. I know she fills it out nicely, but that’s not my point. How can I say this without sounding bad? How about this?
Would they put a magic double secret decoder ring on the outside of a box of Cap’n Crunch?
They wouldn’t even put it on the top. They would bury it down at the very bottom of the box.
I have daughters. I understand these things a lot more than you think I would. I’m married. I understand these things a lot less than you think I would.
The ribbon in her hair goes a lot farther than any bikini could ever go. There is something about ribbons and bows that is good and pure and American and kind of hot (if you are younger or single and out looking for such things that are hot).
I like girls with glasses.
I just do.
However, I don’t think it’s Wendy Peffercorn’s sunglasses as much as it is the way she looks over them and takes them off and puts one of the earpieces in her mouth. She does it right. There is an art or something scientific about it. You get the feeling that she has stood in front of the mirror practicing “that look” over the glasses for hours on end deciding the best way to take them off, kind of tilt her head, and put an earpiece in her mouth (I think it was the left one).
She figured it out.
Michael “Squints” Palledorous, the little boy who kisses Wendy Peffercorn while she is performing CPR is the hero (at least mine) of the movie. She “saved” him from drowning (if you’ve seen the movie, you know he’d been “planning it for years”) If you haven’t seen the movie, you can watch the scene here.
As they noted in the movie:
Michael "Squints" Palledorous walked a little taller that day.
We had to tip our hats to him.
He was lucky she hadn't beat the crap out of him.
We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky, rotten and low... and cool.
Not another one among us would've ever in a million years... even for a million dollars had the guts to put the move on the lifeguard.
He did. He had kissed a woman, and he had kissed her long and good.
We got banned from the pool forever that day.
But every time we walked by after that, the lifeguard looked down from her tower, and smiled.
When it’s summer, enjoy the heat, take your kids to the pool, go to a baseball game, and if you start feeling “pretty crappy” just think about Wendy Peffercorn. She's just so hot I want to call her Wendy Peppercorn.